King Kong versus Godzilla versus Mothra

One thing about being a stay-at-home mom:  for the first three years of your child's life, you never--and I mean never--get to wear dresses. Your kid's life becomes your life. This includes running in the park, climbing play structures, and sliding your snug derriere down tiny slides and tunnels because your kid is too scared to rough-it alone. Your poor clothes take a beating, too--in the form of improvised napkins and handkerchiefs.

Becoming a neutered, swollen, snot rag can really destroy a woman's confidence.

And then enters preschool. Suddenly, you have--gasp!--downtime. And the ability to wear something pretty while pushing a grocery cart, doing laundry or going to the bank. 

Now that the Caped Crusader is beginning his second year of preschool (and now that he knows how to properly use napkins and tissues), I decided to take my chance on a few charming dresses. I prowled the thrift store without the slightest idea what I wanted. But I should have known myself a little better, because the moment I touched them, my fingers registered gold:  SILK!!! There were three. I tossed them into my basket. 

But in the dressing room, my image in the mirror was not dainty, it was ghastly. These three dresses looked hideous and frightening. There was no way I could wear such horrifying (come to think of it, they weren't horrible), ugly (no, not ugly)--what in the world were these things??? 

They were corny! As in vintage horror movie cool. I was instantly drawn to their possibilities. I looked at the tags. One dress hailed from China, the other two from Japan. Like the old-school King Kong flicks, these dresses had something going on. They were interesting. I just had to tone down the beast and unleash the butterfly. 

So grab some popcorn and watch the ugly clash for the title of The Prettiest Dress. This is a three-way battle between:

King Kong!

Godzilla!

And Mothra!