Friday, April 17, 2009

The Tease

When taking care of a small child, it's so easy to fall into the Soccer Mom rut. It's so easy to opt for comfy shirts, sporty pants and athletic shoes. It's so easy to favor one shelf and one drawer in the closet. And it's so easy to slight all the pre-motherhood clothing that hover in the corner with hanger marks and dust around the shoulders. Yet too many years down the golden path of relaxed simplicity can dangerously lead to polyester pants and permed hair dyed the color of Easter eggs. 

So I'm trying. I'm trying hard to escape. 

Enter the dress-up functions. This one, in particular, was an auction my girlfriend obliged me to attend ("My daughter's preschool is having their auction and you're going!" Her finger pointed at my chest like a gun).

Okay, okay, Captain! Sheesh, I'll walk your plank.

It would have been sooo much easier to stay at home and become a blob on the couch with a bag of peanut M & M's. But the image of polyester pants and blue hair slapped me into action.

All my pre-motherhood dresses looked so lonely and morose in the closet (Did they even fit anymore?) that I had to walk down to my local thrift store to check out the latest inventory.

When I spotted the black silk (Ah, bingo! Silk, lovely silk!) dress hanging quietly on the rack, I thought: tasteful, discreet, Very Mom. Perfect. But when I tried it on in the dressing room--whoa!--I looked like Jane the Neutered Librarian. 

Okay, this dour dud needed to turn up The Sexy a notch (or five). But I certainly didn't want to look like a vamp, especially during a preschool fundraiser. My outfit choice was locked in a tightrope situation. This was political.

Frustrated, I threw the dress on the bench, and that's when I saw it:  yards and yards of dancing red fabric. Where did my modest black dress go?

Hey! This sly Jane knew what it was doing. This dress was not neutered. It was a total tease!

Now this was a dress I could wear to the auction. But I needed to release a little more of its wild side (tastefully... very tastefully...). And in order to do that, I needed to show who was boss.

Let's see what I did...

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